A Heartbreaking Story of Loss By Substance

April 9th, 2011

Beware!  This is a story I felt while walking on my treadmill this morning!  I knew I had to stop and write it down.  This may not be the case for you, where you are, but apply its principles, wherever they can be applied in your life!  Live Life as the Blessed Being that you are!

Married eight years, on one hand we knew something like this could happen, on the other, we never in the slightest, thought anything remotely like this, would ever happen to us!

The baby just turned five, wow, how time flies. I looked at him and thanked God again, just as I did every day, what would I do without him? We had been close like this since he was born, I didn’t even have to work the long hours other dads did. We just played, laughed, ran and created, enjoyed the small things of life, together. We were real buds!

We had spent time that summer out on the golf course, he loved to play golf. I guess you would say I had taken some other things for granted, but not him! He was my right hand!

Looking back, I guess I’d have to admit, I didn’t only take other things for granted, I took the fact that we spent everyday together, for granted, always thinking tomorrow would be the same until he grew up. I just didn’t look into the future that far. I wouldn’t be able to handle that, at that time in my life.

Living the good life, wife, family, kids, comfortable lifestyle, super car, you know, the whole, “Life is good,” thing, sort of lulled me into forgetting that things could change! I wanted a few things to change, you know, who doesn’t? But what took place next is beyond the imagination!

Couple buddies and I had hung out on Saturday, taking the boys to the course, strolling along having a few beers, you know, burning them off in the sun as we hiked through the heat! I didn’t drink much, always kept it cool!

On this Saturday, however, my cool got blown away! We were done at the course, heading back to the house to throw a couple burgers on the grill, I was in the rider’s seat, one of my buddies was at the wheel. I looked up when I felt the car jolt and everything became a blur.

The next thing I knew I was standing on the road, a bicycle laying at my feet, a boy not too much older than my baby, was lying there, the victim.

The rest is a blur pretty much, too sordid to relate! But I can tell you, when the judge said, “Guilty to the charges,” I began a life that I would never choose for anyone to have to suffer through!

It wasn’t just about me, it was about all of my family, the lives of my buddies, but mostly it was about the little boy’s family! Did his Daddy miss him, like I missed my boy? I would one day be released to see my boy again, that Daddy would not!

What I had done in my ignorance, I would have to live with, for the rest of my life and search as deeply inside as I could, to find forgiveness for myself. I had been a party to robbing that man of his boy.

I was the cause for robbing my boy of the ten years we had missed playing, holding hands, holding him tight to my chest hammering love holds, on his back! I had missed all those years, sitting in a cell, an accomplice to manslaughter!

I had never considered the consequences that could come from my seemingly, small choices, as being real. I knew on one hand, but on the other, I had no idea!

I would be getting out soon, walking into a life my wife had continued without my presence for ten years. How would it go? Too many questions, I didn’t have answers for, but questions I would face as, while putting my life back together,I tried to find ways to forgive myself!

My boy is now 15 and the years of holding him on my lap have been given away, I will still be able to wrap my arms around him and hammer love on his back, as I thank God that I have a second chance.

Today, the small choice I could have made, to live without being under any influence of any mind altering substance, seems so much greater than it did ten years ago. If only I could go back!

Cheryl G Burke
cherylgburke.com/blog

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Wake Up Thinking This Is It I Can’t Take Anymore part 1

April 3rd, 2011

So you wake up thinking, this is it, I can’t handle any more, I am just too tired to go on!  How do you make yourself lift your exhausted body from the bed so that your feet can carry you on to the next step?

Don’t give up!  The key to life, Don’t give up!

Don’t give up, remember, that is the key, you can find the answers, the three steps to finding the answers: hope, belief, resolve.

Start with, stopping for a moment, “Know” that you can do this.  Take a deep breath, let it out slowly,  repeat the words, “It will be okaye!”  Because it will be!  It may take a little time, but it will be okaye

Very carefully, at this point, it is too late to make a complete solution to the problem instantaneously,  there will be the immediate action, but the solution will be a while in bringing it’s course to fruition. The amount of time it takes, relies completely upon your information and choices!

For now, all you may be able to do, is to make a decision to drag yourself up and move forward.  Very soon after, however, you will want to begin the process of turning your time frame of life into an exciting game that will cause you to be in charge of your emotional, physical and spiritual being.

When you realize that no one with the exception of yourself, dictates what your life’s journey shall be, it should give you the encouragement to find hope again!

Hope is the beginning of resolve!  When you resolve to find peace and balance in your life, you must first have hope.  You will next move into the state of belief, belief that you can do any thing you set your mind to and have the hope of doing.

After you find your hope and peace, you will find resolve.  Resolve is the motivator that will put answers in your mind and heart, to provide you with the necessary actions you must take in order to find your balance.

Don’t give up!  The key to life, Don’t give up!  There  is an answer to every need in the world, our job, is to find the answers!

Consider if you will, what choices you have made in the past, that have permitted you to find yourself in this position.  Remembering that we are looking for answers, not escapes, we want to approach this next step, with a positive and not judgemental attitude.  

Only when you can look honestly at those things in your past, with gratitude for the results you have gained from their existence, will you be able to move forward, in finding your balance.

Knowing that everyone faces challenges, does not help to solve ours, it does however cause us to realize that we are not alone in stress.  It may help to realize that others must face theirs, just as we must face ours, in order to live sane and satisfying lives.

There are no two human beings who are exactly the same, however, we are all designed to have the qualities of the Creator with which we can rule over the stresses of this world and the nature of destruction.

Cheryl G Burke       
cherylgburke.com/blog

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The Ina Garten Accusation

April 2nd, 2011

Points to ponder, Ina Garten, the subject of my morning glimpse into the world of life in the fast lane, or more accurately, what was on my screen when I turned my computer on this morning!

I was contemplating the comments below the story, which was about a six year old child with cancer and the, Make a wish foundation’s attempts to make a connection with the Barefoot Contessa.  The article states that due to her extremely busy schedule, she was incapable of including a meeting time with this very ill young boy, whose only wish was to meet her before he dies.  

Now anyone who knows about humanity, would realize the import this type of action would have on the popularity and attitudes of her following.  Thus, my first thought goes to the facts, was Ina Garten aware of the situation?  Did someone who handles her schedule make an egregious oversight?

Perhaps this woman is innocent of malice?  I can see it now, were she to have made the meeting, the cruel viewers who have an axe to grind, could easily have said her intent was simply to make better numbers on her show, and that she was using this PR trick to gain popularity!

Though the way the facts of the article, seeming not to fling too much mud, yet dropping insinuating hints, was written, makes it nearly impossible for anyone who is not conscious of how harsh people can be toward another, to look on this as possibly an unknowing mistake.

When something of this magnitude happens and you become aware of it, do not simply pass such an ugly accusation on, do not contribute to it with the lack of the most accurate information available at the time.  Seek out the truth, before you commit to unleashing your opinion.

This type of control over your tongue, or hand, as it may be, will develop in you, a talent for caution and good reputation.  After all, is it not a good reputation that we are all after?

When we want to have good relationships, we will develop good relationships, only after we have proven our trustworthiness in any relationship.

When you read or hear gossip, make certain you are applying the truth test by first considering your source!  In the case of the Ina Garten issue, the reporter has influenced our beliefs, simply by capturing our sympathy.  Our sympathy, while most definitely warranted in this particular issue, should not cause our reaction to drive us from our conscious thinking.

In reviewing any situation that presents itself to us, approach it with conscious scrutiny, be still and listen to your heart, before you commit to any belief.  In this way, you will save yourself many the time, from needing to ask forgiveness for because you reacted without being completely informed.

“As you judge you shall be judged”, this quote from the Bible is one that might cause us to reconsider before we believe too quickly, those words we read or things we hear.  

It is never too late to wait and be accurate in any accusation!

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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When the Fishbowl is Dumped in Your Lap Have the Sense to Say Thanks

March 31st, 2011

I just read the story again, about the little boy in school who wet his pants and was so humiliated just thinking of how it would affect his life hereafter with all of the kids and everyone who found out!  Before the teacher, who is in route to his desk, gets close enough, a little girl rushing toward his desk trips and dumps the entire fish bowl in his lap!  He jumps up indignantly, looking down at his wet clothes, as the teacher turns her attention to the scolding of the careless little girl’s actions! 

After class the little boy goes over to her, says, “You did that on purpose didn’t you?”

“Yes, I wet my pants once in school!”

You see, we all need friends, who will come alongside us in our time of need and be there!  What a blessing a friend can be, don’t let go of friendships, just because the friend may not recognize every time we need them!  If they are there, that one time, just to keep us from humiliation, it will be worth the investment in keeping that freindship alive!

If there are those in your past, that have left their marks on whom you have become, or helped to clear the path you choose today, do not take their investment lightly!  Don’t  forget to let them know, it is never too late to say thanks, to encourage and give back a portion of the blessing, by sharing with them, the part they have played in you becoming you!

When you feel an urge to say, “Thank You!”  don’t let it go, without responding to the urge!  Don’t face tomorrow, the fact that you waited too long, you no longer have the opportunity to speak or write to them!  It can happen, save yourself the anguish of regret, contact your friends today, set straight any offense that needs to be made aright, any blessing that needs to be recognized,  any word of encouragement you feel motivated to share.

Living life, in the moment, is all about doing what we, “ hear” to do!  Take a moment, ask yourself is there anyone I need to contact today, anyone who needs to hear from me, family, friend or foe, words of encouragement  words of blessing, words of Love?

If you felt a name in your heart that sprung to the surface, consider what you are to do to be a friend today!  You may look the fool, as you dump the fish bowl in that lap, but all in all, you will be the hero!

Friends offer advice, albeit not always wanted, but always worth our consideration, because one never knows when you might need the fish bowl dumped in, “Your Lap.”

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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Learning to Appreciate Writer’s Block

March 15th, 2011

Written from the heart, material will not always please everyone, however, as a practice of, “From the Heart,” one will find that when you look back, years later, at your works, you will not be ashamed.

When one enters into writer’s block, oft times you will find it due to the fear factor!  Fear that your writing will not be acceptable to one or another of those who should come in contact with your works.

We can never flourish when we are under the threat of any fear!  That fear begins to grow and possess our subconscious, then conscious, thinking.

Everyone is familiar with many fears that exist openly in life today, to mention a few:

1.  Rejection
2.  Failure
3.  Growing Old

Take a moment, only a moment, observe everything around you at this very moment.  Now, close your eyes, what are you looking at?  If  you find that what comes to the forefront of your mind, the moment you close your eyes, is clutter, or a responsibility that you have not attended, that you should have already dealt with, this is a form of distraction or, fear.

Fear does not always come in the forms with which we are familiar.  Here are a few fears that we do not, at first glance, consider fear:

1.  Uncompleted projects
2.  Goals
3.  Appointments
4.  Meetings
5.  Relationships

When you take into account the bottom line of every fear, you will find that its root lies, in whom you believe, has charge of its outcome!

When you realize that it is you, who must be content with whom you become, you begin to realize the responsibility you have, to make productive decisions on every though that enters your mind.

How we get to where we get, before we die, is directly related to the choices we make on a daily basis, throughout our lives.  If you find that somewhere on your journey’s map, you stop to reflect on your past and are not satisfied with your history, you are permitted at that moment, not to change your history, but to change the rest of your journey.

This is the remarkable aspect of God given life, that ones choices dictate ones outcome.  When we fear old age, it is because we are not satisfied with the choices we have made and the lives we have experienced thus far, on our journey.  

God is God, we are the embodiment of Gods Spirit!  In order to comprehend what that means, we must consider and ask ourselves what God is capable of.  If He is in charge of our lives, what does this mean to us?  Do we know what it means to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent?

When is the last time you asked yourself, why you fear anything?  If you are a writer and you come up against writer’s block, ask yourself if it may not be related to a lack of peace that comes from fear.

If you fear that your articles will be rejected by those who read them, or that they may implicate you in an issue that you will have to defend and are not confident you will win, after the defense, perhaps you can discover why the block.

For some of us, introspection may be called for, perhaps you just don’t feel free to expose your inner being and you may be battling with how to skirt some issue or another and yet write on the subject.  Perhaps you temporarily lack motivation to write, due to the need for peace in how to communicate an issue of importance.

We can, “Know,” no fear, when we are, “Known,” by God.

When we experience, “Writers Block,”  let it be a sign for us to go to our, “Stillness,” and wait for inspiration, that we might produce works that will encourage and enlighten for lifetimes to come!

Blessed be the block, that produces mighty works at its conclusion!

Cheryl G Burke
cherylgburke.com/blog

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Living In the Moment Not Leaving Ones Seat

February 24th, 2011

The teapot’s whistle brought her back to the present, how was it that one could travel so far and quickly and accomplish so much, yet not leave the comfort of ones seat?  

Jumping up to grab the pot, Benny stubbed her toe on the corner of the chair, crying out to no one in particular, as hers was the only presence in the room, at least as far as she could see.  Taking the tea from the cupboard, with a whisping thought to the name, “cupboard”, she mindlessly went on to place the bag in the cup and pour hot water from the pot.

Cupboard, cupboard, what a funny word, but then she followed her traveling mind back to why the name cupboard!  Of course cabinets did not begin as cabinets, they most likely began as a rock you sat beside to build your camp fire or something, then as you became more civilized, trees began to be hewn into boards, thus a nice little spot to fasten in your homemade little hut, that served as a home, to make an organized spot on which to place your homemade cups and bowls!

Would her wandering mind never stop?  Why was it that she ran on a constant pattern of rambling thoughts?  Was this to be her lot in life forever?  No, she determined she would start today to stay in the moment, not to let her adventurous mind run away in constant frivolity.  

The tea was tasty and felt good traveling down her throat, she felt an urge to take a run and sat her cup down on the table with a bit of a bump.  A new thought had just landed itself on her busy brain!

Benny decided this staying in the moment thing, was going to be a bit difficult, if she were to take advantage of the quiet moments she experienced while running.  Always one to make the best of anything, she generally used her running time to contemplate how to make like more pleasant for others.  Now, however, if she were to stay in the moment, exactly as described, she would have to spend it all on herself!

Seeing the trees blowing in the breeze, the cat darting across the street in time to narrowly escape the pursuit of its neighboring dog friend, little things that bring rise to grateful living, were coming in to her conscious picture very rapidly.  Perhaps this in the moment thing, was not too bad after all, it did make for good reason to give thanks for the many things one did not find oneself in!

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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Childish Peace

February 24th, 2011

How long has it been since you lived in your bliss, you know, the one where you had no idea what life was all about?  A life where someone else took full responsibility for all of your needs being met, where all you had to do was to play.

I took a look at me fifteen month old grandson today, jumped through hoops basically, attempting to make certain everything was exactly as it should be for him.  He, on the other hand, went to great lengths to be certain he kept me jumping!

Moral to the above story, no matter how hard one attempts to cover every base, you need to know you cannot, as you do not practice omniscience, you cannot possibly know everything that needs to be done, in order to satisfy everyone.

With this thought in mind, remember this, when you were a child, you thought as a child, you had childish dreams filled with thoughts of having everything you wanted.  Knowing that God can do and give all of our dreams to us, must serve to remind us that if we do not receive everything we want, then it stands to reason, He knows better what we need.  He tells us He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, so, if we do not receive them, then we must know they are not the most equitable or profitable for us.

When you are a child, you live in trust that someone will care for all of your needs, oh, you may do a bit of fussing to let them know you have an unnoticed need waiting to be met, but for the most of us, we don’t really have to do much fussing to be taken proper care of.  

How wonderful to know that all of our needs and desires can be met, simply through trust and belief.  You see, when you believe in something, you act upon that belief, thus it fills the void that you have that comes naturally from the lack of fulfilled dreams.  Or, it finds and fills the space that you are given by design, God, to have the physical and emotional building blocks rearranged in proper space.

So, when you think on your life, back before you started making choices that put you in charge of your care, upkeep and dreams, think about how simple it is to trust to God the responsibility of making your dreams come true.  All you have to do is believe, hear your inner guide, the Spirit of God, telling you which is best for you follow your heart, live without stress, have faith, follow your hope and know His peace.

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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Why Was I Born?

February 19th, 2011

Ever hear yourself say  words to the effect of wondering why you are even alive?  At the end of a work week, do you feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders, if only for two days?

This scenario could go on and on, but before we go any further, ask yourself this, am I ready to stop the merry-go-round and find out why I feel this way?

The first step in changing this scene, is to know why you feel this way about such a wonderful opportunity as to be alive, in the first place.  Getting to where you are now, did not happen overnight, it happened by little increments of choices.

You are where you are, because you have made many small choices that have led to your current state.  Since you are the one responsible for your current state, you are also the one responsible for changing your position in life, as well as picking a new path for this life.

When you think about life, do thoughts of happiness, beauty, and peace come to mind?  If not, you may want to stop the flow, take a quiet sit down on the riverbank and contemplate, why!

Has there ever been a time in your life, when you were happy?  What are the circumstances surrounding that time?  If you can recollect these things, then you have hope to recreate that old feeling, if not, then it is time you find new reasons for feeling this way about life!

Every person alive, needs to know what it feels like, to be at  peace with themselves, others and God.  Peace has the power to overcome every obstacle and settle every issue that arises for us to face.  God promises that peace to each of us, it is free for the taking, albeit, we must know to look for that peace.

The words I am expressing here, are words to encourage you to find out what you are doing with your life.  What is it that you need to change in order for you to have the experience you were designed to have on this earth.  

After you analyze your situation in life, you can begin to see why you are at the point you are at.  Have you given up on those things which you originally thought sounded fun or exciting? How do you feel about those dreams when you bring them up for your conscious thought?  If, at this point you feel no stir of emotion, you may just need to take a bit more time in your considerations.

Everyone has a dream, a vision of what it would be like if… Perhaps you have put your dreams so far behind you, that it will take practice pulling them up. So what, practice!  Don’t let another day go by without the practice of sitting quietly and allowing your inner self, to come to the surface.  

Ask yourself, if I could do anything, what would it be?  It may be that you say, “I would do nothing”, maybe you would, but then, ask yourself for how long?  Nothing only feels good for a season, at that time, you will need to know what it is that you want to do, what you really want to do, before you die.  

After you determine what those things are, you will be on the road to finding your, “completeness”, if you will only begin to follow your heart and let those dreams become reality.

When you have found what it is that you really want to do in this life, you will no longer wonder why you are here!  You will know!!!!!!!!

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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Free is Not Always Too Shabby

February 19th, 2011

Wisdom of the ages is ours to be had, offered, free for the taking! When was the last time you had a garage sale that offered a box of “free” items?  Do you know what happens when you offer something free?

We had a huge garage sale at my sisters house one year, we had a barn sale, actually, with everything from antiques, to almost new, tools, furniture, old dressers, tires, a driving vehicle, so many things I cannot list, after spending the day selling, we decided to offer everything for free!  Everything, for free, it was one of the most educational experiences of my life!

People would walk around this beautiful sale, look at everything yet barely touch a thing!  Some would actually walk away without taking a thing, after continuing to ask, “No, this is too expensive, it can’t really be free, can it?”

No matter how much we affirmed the charge was zero, they could not and would not accept the facts.  We played with the idea and actually put $1.00 on some very expensive things, though folks would still hesitate, some, at least, would buy at that ridiculous price.

When we offer anything, we need to consider what we want to achieve by our offering.  In the case of giving away wisdom, it may be frightening to think that folks won’t take something of such great value, because it is free.  I would wonder if they even think about the value of such a word.

What if we realize late in life, what we have overlooked for so long, just because it bears the tag, “free”?  Many things would then shine through as fitting in to the regrets, box of our minds.  

In order to live with no regrets, one must have consciously decided what it is, that one wants out of life, in order to know one has lived up to the best one can do.

When you think on Wisdom, you cannot get past how important this free gift is.  Without Wisdom, which is a scary thought in itself, we find ourselves making ridiculous choices, choices that not only affect our lives, but those of others around us.

Just because something is free, does not mean it is not good!  In the case of our barn sale mentioned above, all of the wonderful stalls full of gorgeous antiques, tools, housewares, clothes and more, were gifted to a second hand store, where the folks who purchased each item, felt they had gotten a, “good deal”, paying the price they paid, when they could have gotten a, “better deal” by receiving for free our offerings!

When you think on anything, ask yourself if you automatically think the more expensive item is better than one that is extremely less expensive!  If, after asking this question, you can see a pattern that causes you to go with one over the other, due to a conforming belief, you may just want to readjust your thinking process to include, spend some time considering each item as it stands on its own.  Give every thing you consider, your most full attention, find out what makes it the best to go with, or the best quality for the money.

As you can see, I am not speaking of monetary things here, though I have used the true example of our personal sale, to illustrate how our ego gets in the way of some very wonderful blessings that are ours for the taking, free.

Free is not always too shabby!  Accept for free, the Wisdom you are offered, never stop seeking, never stop searching and when you find it is for, “free”, believe it!

Be Blessed,

Cheryl G Burke

cherylgburke.com/blog

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Believe Your Dream

February 16th, 2011

Watching Jasper race across the field toward her, had the effect of making her feel as though she could walk again.  Andy knew what the doctors had said, but she also knew her faith, or more accurately, her belief, could accomplish feats that the average person may not even be able to comprehend.

Thinking back over the past year and all that had transpired since her accident, Andy realized life goes on, even when at the time, you want to die and you want to give up all hope!  Life goes on!

Sitting in her wheel chair, watching  Jasper running like the wind, she knew he was trying to show her, she could run like the wind also.  What a magnificent horse he is, she thought, as he slowed to a trot that stopped only as he reached her feet.

“You are so right, Boy, we’ll show them, I will run again, we’ll show them, won’t we boy, we’ll show them!”

Tears finding their way down her cheeks, she cuddled in more closely to Jasper’s neck, as he lowered his head for her hands.

Jasper was an amazing horse, though most likely not more fantastic than most horses, just more understood and more loved than many.  Andy reached her arms as high up around Jasper’s neck, as she could reach.  Trying to make her legs work by shear will power, no response, as she let herself back down to the chair.

Not permitting herself to be discouraged by the lack of response to her command, Andy simply said, “Not yet, but you will.”  Turning her attention back to the horse who remained standing at the foot of her chair, as if waiting for her to slip up on his back and squeeze with those legs, the direction he was to carry her, she smiled.

Her secret belief safe with Jasper, she knew she would walk, though she refused to share her belief with anyone else, for fear they might try to dissuade her positive belief.

It was like that sometimes, folks don’t want to see us disappointed, so, they think they are doing justice, by doubting our desire, cautioning us from dreaming, when dreaming is really what we are all about.  Make a dream, move toward that dream, then watch God bring about the reality of the dream.  

Andy’s was a dream to run and ride again, she knew she would!

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